As a Black woman, have you ever felt trapped in the role of “the fixer” or “the strong one”? The one that everyone turns to for advice yet no one bothers to ask how things are going in your life? It should make you reevaluate who is around you and how you engage with them but is it possible that you get a certain amount of validation from being needed? There are significant cultural and societal pressures to be resilient and supportive. In this blog I will be addressing a common issue that many Black women face in their relationships: being “The Responsible One”.

Have you ever felt ‘too White to be Black, or too Black to be White?’ Or felt deep intense shame for making a mistake that others viewed as a sin? Let’s welcome Tori Morris to the Myers-Galloway Counseling team. Tori is a Clinical Mental Health intern who attends Catawba College. Tori loves all types of music, is an early-bird who is organized and never afraid to take on challenges as they arise. We got the chance to speak with Tori about her experiences and why she is so passionate about helping Black women achieve optimal mental health. 

Are you tired of feeling disconnected from your children? Do you feel as if your kids are afraid to open up to you? Do you wish you could teach them important lessons without them feeling judged? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then this is the blog for you.

Being responsible is literally weighing you down. It’s impossible for you to be there for everyone and still maintain yourself. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. So watch the TEDx video and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

It’s no secret that how you grew up and how you were parented have an impact on you - good, bad, or somewhere in between. Even down to where you choose to live and who you associate yourself with. This means that the abuse and/or neglect that children face can lead to detrimental health issues like heart disease, obesity, cancer, and even suicide later in life. In this blog, we will define what ACES are, the types of ACES that impact Black women, and share some ways that Black women can decrease the negative impact of ACES.

Black women have a variety of experiences that have shaped how they see themselves and the world. In our blog What are ACES and how can Black women overcome them? We discussed how trauma in childhood increases the likelihood of physical and mental health issues later in life. ACES are important to understand because it gives us an opportunity to intervene and interrupt the pattern through programs, resources and relationships.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 19% of adults in the United States experience anxiety disorders. With the pressures of being the anchor of the home while being underpaid and overworked in almost every area of life, Black women face a greater risk of developing anxiety disorders.

At Myers-Galloway Counseling, our mission is to Heal and develop confident Black women, so they can create resilient families. Our vision is to create an environment where mental health conversations become normalized for Black women creating an improved sense of self and healthier family relationships.

As Black women, many of us grew up in households that placed us in the role as caretaker well before we should have been. This often leads to us living this role for so long that we feel trapped. And when we feel trapped, it becomes even harder for us to ask for help. It’s easy for some women to get stuck in this cycle of working to the point of exhaustion as they wait for someone to recognize and validate their worth.

Even a great relationship in your life can still come with baggage or unearth those deep-seeded fears you’ve had about the relationship models in your life. Things like fear of true vulnerability, fear of abandonment, or fear of rejection.

A holistic approach to your health is the belief that the individual parts of your life (social, mental, financial, etc.) are interconnected to your physical well-being. We are complicated beings and addressing individual parts of our health does a disservice to the reality of our lives.

All of us feel stuck at one time or another. And often, we’re not sure why we feel stuck or what we can do to feel “unstuck.” Maybe everything in your life is going well and yet you feel unsatisfied. Or, maybe things have been building to head and an internal volcano feels ready to explode.

The holiday season is here, and it can bring up a lot of old (or unresolved) emotional scars. Especially for Black women who experienced adultification and/or parentification during their childhood, reconnecting with family members during this time of year may result in intense family conflict, trigger abandonment issues, fear of rejection or grief. Not to mention, there are always topics that feel off-limits.

When you look at a little Black girl what do you see? How many times have you heard of a little Black girl being referred to as fast? Be honest. Do you see innocence or do you see someone who is sneaky, automatically capable of taking care of herself or even of someone else? Before you answer, it has been found that adults in the United States see little Black girls as less innocent and more adult like than their white peers, especially those ages 5 to 14 years old.

Reaching out to a therapist or counselor for the first time can be a daunting experience. First, you need to find a therapist that fits your needs, but that’s only one step in the process.

Denise, a top performer in the Marketing department of her Fortune 500 company, is every Manager’s dream. Despite this, there are days when she experiences microaggressions that make her question how she is “seen” at work. Black women maintain their sanity by constantly negating the impact of microaggressions and reminding themselves that they worked hard to get to where they are professionally and deserve to be there.

Since Myers-Galloway Counseling opened its doors in 2016, I have noticed a trend, specifically among my Black female clients. There was a pattern of a deep sense of responsibility to others, a foggy awareness of personal needs and wants, and an over extension of time and emotional capacity. Before I was even familiar with the word parentification, I realized that my clients’ stories reflected a lack of nurturance in childhood and it was making a huge impact on their lives today.

Working in a leadership position - especially in the C-Suite - will come with additional stress. But Black women are more likely to face more significant obstacles than their white counterparts.

There is power in sharing a space with like-minded people who are working toward achieving similar goals. You can’t put a price on being seen and understood when you are going through a tough time. Black women can achieve their personal goals in two ways: sister circles and group therapy.

In the past, African-Americans have not sought therapy. Some may say that there is a specific reason for this, but there are several. The primary belief is that, within the Black community, mental health has historically been considered taboo. Fortunately, in recent years, this long-standing notion regarding the Black community is beginning to change – particularly among Black women.