You were the child who had to act like the adult.

Not because you wanted to—because you had to.

You comforted your parents when they cried. You handled responsibilities way beyond your years. You kept it together while everything around you fell apart.

Now you’re grown—but the weight hasn’t gone away. And it’s showing up in ways you didn’t expect: anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and relationships that always feel off-balance.

That’s not random. That’s parentification—and it’s impacting your mental health more than you may realize.

You grew up fast—because you had to.

You were the helper. The listener. The one who made sure everything got done, even when you were just a child.

While your friends were worried about homework and sleepovers, you were comforting your mother after a breakup… cooking dinner for your siblings… managing moods in a household where peace was always fragile.

You were parentified—and now, as an adult, you’re still carrying the emotional weight of responsibilities that were never yours to begin with. Let’s talk about what that really means—and how you can finally lay it down.

Are you tired of feeling disconnected from your children? Do you feel as if your kids are afraid to open up to you? Do you wish you could teach them important lessons without them feeling judged? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then this is the blog for you.

Being responsible is literally weighing you down. It’s impossible for you to be there for everyone and still maintain yourself. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. So watch the TEDx video and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

When you look at a little Black girl what do you see? How many times have you heard of a little Black girl being referred to as fast? Be honest. Do you see innocence or do you see someone who is sneaky, automatically capable of taking care of herself or even of someone else? Before you answer, it has been found that adults in the United States see little Black girls as less innocent and more adult like than their white peers, especially those ages 5 to 14 years old.

Since Myers-Galloway Counseling opened its doors in 2016, I have noticed a trend, specifically among my Black female clients. There was a pattern of a deep sense of responsibility to others, a foggy awareness of personal needs and wants, and an over extension of time and emotional capacity. Before I was even familiar with the word parentification, I realized that my clients’ stories reflected a lack of nurturance in childhood and it was making a huge impact on their lives today.

The act of caring for others and taking on their duties is common in the African-American community. This type of socialization is often demonstrated at home by a female authority figure, such as a mother, grandmother or aunt. Young Black girls who are exposed to this behavior often replicate it in adulthood. Because they do not want to disappoint others, they struggle with feelings of guilt should they say no.