You’re dependable. You’re “strong”. You always come through.

But have you ever asked yourself—what happens when no one checks on the strong one?

You’re the person your family calls first. The friend who shows up, no matter what. The coworker who takes on extra without complaint.

You’re “the one everyone can count on.”
But when you need something? Silence.

It’s not that you don’t want to help. You do. 

But quietly, you’re drowning in expectations, exhaustion, and emotional invisibility.

Let’s talk about what happens when being needed becomes a burden.

You said “yes”—again.

Even though you were tired, overwhelmed, or just didn’t want to.

You wanted to say no. But that little voice in your head whispered, “Don’t be mean.”

“They need you.”

“You don’t want to disappoint them.”

So you stayed late. You took on more. You sacrificed rest, peace, and your own needs—again.

Let’s be clear: This isn’t just a boundary issue. It’s a guilt issue.

And you’re not alone.

You’re always the one holding it together.

Even when no one’s holding you.

You love hard. You give generously. You show up for everyone. But deep down—you feel invisible. Unappreciated. Like you're always giving more than you get.

If relationships constantly leave you feeling drained, misunderstood, or stuck in a loop of one-sided care… the problem might not be them—it might be something rooted way deeper:

Parentification.

Let’s unpack how your childhood roles could be shaping your adult relationships—and what you can do to finally break the cycle.

Ever feel like you have to be strong… all the time?

Like no matter how heavy the load gets, you’re expected to carry it with grace, never complain, and definitely never cry?

You’re not alone—and you’re not imagining it.

This idea—the “Strong Black Woman” myth—has deep roots. But while it may look like resilience on the outside, it often hides pain, loneliness, and the denial of our most basic needs.

Let’s talk about why it’s time to let it go.

You’re always the one they call…

Even when no one calls to check on you.

Sound familiar? 

You’re the fixer. The helper. The listener. The backbone. You handle it all with a smile—even when your world feels like it’s crumbling. You’re the “strong one” in everyone’s life… but who’s strong for you?

Let’s talk about the price you pay for that strength.

Ever felt like you were the parent in your own childhood?

Maybe you were the one comforting your mom after a long day, stepping in for your absent father, or raising your siblings while still trying to be a kid yourself.

You thought it was “normal.” You were praised for being mature, responsible, reliable.

But here’s the truth—what you experienced wasn’t just “growing up fast.” It was parentification—and it can have a lasting impact on your adult mental health, relationships, and sense of self.

Let’s talk about what that looks like.

You were the child who had to act like the adult.

Not because you wanted to—because you had to.

You comforted your parents when they cried. You handled responsibilities way beyond your years. You kept it together while everything around you fell apart.

Now you’re grown—but the weight hasn’t gone away. And it’s showing up in ways you didn’t expect: anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and relationships that always feel off-balance.

That’s not random. That’s parentification—and it’s impacting your mental health more than you may realize.

You grew up fast—because you had to.

You were the helper. The listener. The one who made sure everything got done, even when you were just a child.

While your friends were worried about homework and sleepovers, you were comforting your mother after a breakup… cooking dinner for your siblings… managing moods in a household where peace was always fragile.

You were parentified—and now, as an adult, you’re still carrying the emotional weight of responsibilities that were never yours to begin with. Let’s talk about what that really means—and how you can finally lay it down.

Our 2024 Impact Report is more than numbers—it’s a powerful reflection of healing, growth, and community transformation. Inside, you’ll find stories, data, and bold next steps that show how we’re helping Black women untangle from toxic responsibility and reclaim their lives. 👉🏾 Read the full report inside.

Parentification doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it’s part of a larger web of experiences and dynamics that impact children forced to grow up too soon. To fully grasp the depth of this phenomenon, it’s essential to explore the related terms that help contextualize it. From adultification to emotional neglect, these terms describe the various ways children can be pushed into roles they’re not ready for, often at the expense of their emotional and mental health. Understanding these concepts is key to recognizing the signs of parentification in yourself or others and finding pathways to healing. Let’s go over other terms related to the experience of parentification.

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, explores how our early relationships with caregivers shape our emotional bonds and behaviors in adulthood. If your caregivers met your needs consistently, you likely developed a secure attachment style — a foundation for healthy, trusting relationships.

However, if your caregivers were inconsistent or unavailable, you might have developed an insecure attachment style. These early experiences still influence how you connect with others today. Let’s dive into the types of insecure attachment styles.

Let’s talk about boundaries. If you've been on the journey of learning to set healthy boundaries, you've probably noticed something: not everyone’s happy about it! You finally say “no” or take that much-needed break, and suddenly, there’s someone who’s a little too interested in making you feel guilty about it.

Imagine stepping into a cozy, sunlit room where the walls are adorned with vibrant artwork, and the air hums with a sense of calm and empowerment. This is a space dedicated to Black women, a sanctuary where mental health meets cultural affirmation, and every conversation is a step toward healing and growth.

As a Black woman, have you ever felt trapped in the role of “the fixer” or “the strong one”? The one that everyone turns to for advice yet no one bothers to ask how things are going in your life? It should make you reevaluate who is around you and how you engage with them but is it possible that you get a certain amount of validation from being needed? There are significant cultural and societal pressures to be resilient and supportive. In this blog I will be addressing a common issue that many Black women face in their relationships: being “The Responsible One”.

Have you ever felt ‘too White to be Black, or too Black to be White?’ Or felt deep intense shame for making a mistake that others viewed as a sin? Let’s welcome Tori Morris to the Myers-Galloway Counseling team. Tori is a Clinical Mental Health intern who attends Catawba College. Tori loves all types of music, is an early-bird who is organized and never afraid to take on challenges as they arise. We got the chance to speak with Tori about her experiences and why she is so passionate about helping Black women achieve optimal mental health. 

Are you tired of feeling disconnected from your children? Do you feel as if your kids are afraid to open up to you? Do you wish you could teach them important lessons without them feeling judged? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then this is the blog for you.

Being responsible is literally weighing you down. It’s impossible for you to be there for everyone and still maintain yourself. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. So watch the TEDx video and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

It’s no secret that how you grew up and how you were parented have an impact on you - good, bad, or somewhere in between. Even down to where you choose to live and who you associate yourself with. This means that the abuse and/or neglect that children face can lead to detrimental health issues like heart disease, obesity, cancer, and even suicide later in life. In this blog, we will define what ACES are, the types of ACES that impact Black women, and share some ways that Black women can decrease the negative impact of ACES.

Black women have a variety of experiences that have shaped how they see themselves and the world. In our blog What are ACES and how can Black women overcome them? We discussed how trauma in childhood increases the likelihood of physical and mental health issues later in life. ACES are important to understand because it gives us an opportunity to intervene and interrupt the pattern through programs, resources and relationships.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 19% of adults in the United States experience anxiety disorders. With the pressures of being the anchor of the home while being underpaid and overworked in almost every area of life, Black women face a greater risk of developing anxiety disorders.